Colorado Painter Rolls out Pot-Based Color Palettes

Posted by | October 31, 2017 | Humor, Satire | No Comments

BOULDER, CO – With the legalization of recreational marijuana, one Boulder painting company is monopolizing on a new color palette. Russ Hopkins has found success in mixing his own paints, using hemp oil as a base. “It’s certainly been a joint effort. I mean, I can’t toke all the credit here.”

Russ spoke about the budding new industry: “They’ve got marijuana everything out here. Cookies, candy bars…even pacifiers.” We fact-checked his last statement. They do not, in fact, have marijuana pacifiers.

pot paint colors

Russ gathers his staff around to discuss the latest colors. “With the older folks, the classics have always been Ganja Green, Bongin’ Blue, and Mellow Yellow. Today, we’re rolling out a new series. We’ve got ‘I’m Going Acoustic,’ ‘Chips, Please’ and ‘This Was a Mistake.’ We think these’ll be a big hit with the younger crowd.”

Staff Painters Kyle and Moon grab three cans of “I’m Going Acoustic” and set out to paint a two bedroom, two bathroom apartment that houses fourteen local grad students.

Russ eyes his new colors with pride. “If things keep growing like this on the painting side of things, I might have to expand into green construction!”

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