Elderly Painting Contractor Shocked to Find that “50 Shades of Gray” Is Not a Color Documentary

Posted by | February 06, 2018 | Humor | No Comments

Little Rock, AR – After the local Blockbuster stopped renting VHS tapes, elderly painter Thomas Jones took to renting DVD’s from Redbox. Last Friday, according to a confidential source, Mr. Jones scanned the available titles, and chose “50 Shades of Gray,” planning to watch it with his wife, Martha.

It wasn’t the date night they had pictured…

“Martha and I had been arguing about whether greige is a real color, and we thought this would settle it,” mused Jones, obviously shaken by the experience. “I was hoping they would feature my favorite shade of gray.”

Martha confided to us in a frail voice, “Tom has always been partial to Ocean Haze, and I love Granite Cliffs, but they never mentioned either color.”

“I can’t believe people watch this trash,” continued Jones. “They never even mentioned that gray isn’t a real color!”

About Joel Poortenga

Ice cream maker, English teacher, underwater gold miner, grocery store clerk, Spanish teacher, chimney sweep’s assistant, and marketing content writer. Can you guess which of those jobs Joel Poortenga hasn’t held? As you ponder that question, also consider the fact that Joel is a Canadian who lives in West Virginia and is married to a woman who grew up in Taiwan. They have 5 wonderful children! He loves woodworking, travel, and music, and he also enjoys yard work and home improvements. (By the way, Joel really did all those jobs!) With a degree in English Language and Literature, and with many years of experience in blogging, content writing, and email marketing, Joel is an expert communicator for a wide range of settings.

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