Homeowner Pays Painter To Leave Job

Posted by | May 07, 2018 | Humor, Marketing Advice, Satire | No Comments

Rose Hill, VA-

Joan Slotch hired Paul the Painter 7 weeks ago to paint four rooms in her Rose Hill home.funny painting blog

“I should’ve known it was too good to be true,” Joan says, referencing Paul’s special offer: Paint 1 Room, Get 3 Free. Looking back, Joan also says that the hand-written business card should have been a red flag, as well as the fact that Paul worked out of his sister’s minivan and seemed to only own one brush.

“His excuses for the delays were so convincing,” Joan went on to say while spritzing her living room with Febreze to mask the lingering smell of Paul’s cigarette smoke. “He was always waiting for the last coat to dry, wanting to make sure the tone matched, whatever that means, cooking up a fresh batch of spackle, or waiting for coffee to finish brewing. From MY coffee pot! He blamed my slow wifi once… He also liked to say, ‘Hey, you can’t rush genius. The 16th Chapel wasn’t painted in a day.’”

After 7 weeks of frustration, Joan finally paid Paul the balance (plus a “get-lost incentive”) she owed and told him to leave. According to Joan, Paul shrugged, finished applying his suntan lotion, then got down from the roof.

“I should’ve just paid more for somebody reputable, I guess,” Joan says. “Maybe next time.”

About Adam Zobel

Adam came to us with a background in teaching, writing, and a work history that included serving numerous small businesses (including assisting with content writing and marketing efforts). He was a natural fit, and enjoys connecting with our clients, creating unique content that reflects their culture and voice. We keep him busy! Adam handles blogging, email campaigns, website content creation, copywriting for print and promotional materials, social media, letters, mailers, and more. He also does a dynamo impression of Nicolas Cage, but you didn’t hear that from us. Adam lives in New Hampshire with his wife and two boys. He is also a 1st cousin of David’s wife!

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