Local Painting Company Discovers Hipsters Will Work for Free

Posted by | July 03, 2018 | Humor, Satire | No Comments

Akron, MN-

After 3 fruitless months trying to convince young people at local high schools and colleges to explore a painting career, Elsie Hobbs, business manager at Pristine Painting, had a unique idea.

“Over and over again I was hearing that what we offered was just too stable of a job, essentially,” says Hobbs. “Decent pay, benefits, a 40-hour work week, overtime… It’s not what hiring paintersthey wanted. These young people apparently need more adventure, artistic expression, and less accountability.” 

As a solution, Hobbs rebranded her hiring ad to read like this:

“Are you tired of working for some big corporation? Are you sick of letting your value be dictated by a dollar sign? Come dedicate your summers to something bigger, something challenging, something unique. We’re looking for free-spirited Artisan Applicationists who are ready to improve communities, and will demonstrate vintage craftsmanship while enjoying deep conversation, fair trade coffee, and all the Edamame beans you can eat. Don’t settle for a job when you can have an experience!”

“It worked,” Hobbs reports. “We now have 15 local hipsters working for free. And, we’re showing up on Instagram… a LOT. So, there’s that benefit too.”

About Adam Zobel

Adam came to us with a background in teaching, writing, and a work history that included serving numerous small businesses (including assisting with content writing and marketing efforts). He was a natural fit, and enjoys connecting with our clients, creating unique content that reflects their culture and voice. We keep him busy! Adam handles blogging, email campaigns, website content creation, copywriting for print and promotional materials, social media, letters, mailers, and more. He also does a dynamo impression of Nicolas Cage, but you didn’t hear that from us. Adam lives in New Hampshire with his wife and two boys. He is also a 1st cousin of David’s wife!

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