Eagle Heights, CT – “I don’t like to complain, but this just got out of control,” declares Betty Carbuncle of Eagle Heights. “There’s a certain way we paint in this neighborhood, and it is not like that.”
Carbuncle was just one of several neighbors who say they were driven to complain when Alice Webber began choosing colors that were just too loud.
“It started small, like any neighborhood trouble I suppose,” said Carbuncle, peering pensively over the top of her Pomeranian. “Whatever happens in your home is your business, but when we could start to see accent colors through the windows, well, it was all too much.”
Authorities confirmed that Webber’s home did contain multiple examples of unnecessary color, as well as assorted painting paraphernalia. “We’ve seen this before,” one official said. “Gateway colors like Earthy Brick seem harmless enough, but before you know it you’re painting ombre walls with colors like Repurposed Kermit and Rainbow Connection. Suppliers make it easy. Too easy.”
Six cans of chalkboard paint were also recovered, as well as what appears to have been an unused roll of stick-on wallpaper.
Webber declined to comment, but blamed HGTV and Pinterest for her sudden impulse to add increasingly loud pops of color, and and admitted to even considering options beyond white for her kitchen cabinets.